The United Dates of Sarah: The United Dates Of Sarah - Familiar Faces

Before we get to the story of the week, I would like to go over some Tinder rules. These rules are not posted or written HOWEVER, it has come to my attention that these unspoken rules, do need to be addressed. So, here I go.

If you're looking to find someone on Tinder, like actually find a real date on Tinder, please consider the following:

1. Your first photo should be of your face! One would think this might be logical but let me tell you...The first photo determines almost everything on Tinder. I don't want to see a sunset, a landscape, the back of your head, a group photo, a dog, a baby, a cartoon, or a dick pic. You should be confident in yourself to post a good, full frontal, face photo! The creative cool photos, you can have, just not as the first photo. Haven't you ever heard of the saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover"? Well, with Tinder, that's what people are doing. They're judging the shit out of you from the first photo...so make it good. I guess a selfie might be fine, but can't you get someone to take a photo of you at least?

Here are a couple of Tinder photos that...well....shouldn't be the first thing we see...or maybe even the second or third photo:

**If you're reading this off of your phone..the images might be a little distorted but you'll get the gist.

This one is for the guys out there...You get these too! On behalf of this girl...I'm sorry.

2. Group photos...It's very rare I swipe right on someone who has their main photo with a group of people. Who wants to take the time to try and figure out who you are??? I mean, this isn't where's Waldo! One group photo, like photo number 3 or 4 might be fine but the people who post all of their photos with groups...NEXT!

3. Post more than one photo! Please! I think the worst about people with one photo...you're a catfish.

4. If you are looking for something more than a hookup, maybe try and write something about yourself in the caption area...and don't say "I'm ready to meet my Tinderella". It's been used too many times.

5. If you want to get a girl, don't have other hot girls in your photos. Just a thought. BUT if you're trying to get a third person involved in your current relationship...that's a different story. Make sure you're getting your point across very clearly:

6. Then there are these types of guys who love to take shirtless selfies...sorry but not MY thing...but good for them...pump that iron, flex those muscles and act like you're surprised the photo was taken ;)

7, Lastly, if a child is in your photos, specify who it belongs to..thanks!

Those are just some of my observations and notes I wanted to share with you. I know Tinder does work though! As a matter of fact, one of my very good friends met her boyfriend on Tinder after having the app for 2 days!!! People have gotten married from Tinder, BUT If you're just trying to hook up...go for it! Post that dick pic or write it in the "about me" section...Girls like me, would rather know not to waste our time. I would LOVE to hear about the girl's side of Tinder too so please email me your thoughts on the unwritten rules for the other side :)

Anyways, on to my story! How exciting!! Ok, we'll call this guy, The Bank Robber.

Sooo my friend and I decided to go to a Jewish singles mixer of course: 1. because there was going to be free appetizers and 2. because why not? It was after work near my friend's house and it was free...Ok so, we get there and there's a pretty good turn out! We're just standing by a platter of pita and hummus (of course) and as I turn to look at the people entering, I notice a guy we had met before.

I tell my friend, "look! Isn't that the guy we met like a year ago who told us he was a bank robber and was kind of super strange?"

Friend: Yes!

So he basically makes his way over to us and starts talking...like he didn't recognize us AT ALL! So we're talking and I can't help but laugh a little...especially when he asked me what I do.

Me: Well, sometimes I like to tell people I'm a bank robber and see how far I can go with it.

Robber: NO WAY!?!! Me too! That's so crazy. Yeah like sometimes people really believe me!

Me: I know...crazy.

Friend: Yeah we wear potato chip bags over our head so no one can see our faces.

Me: Yep!

Well after a minute, my friend and I break away from this guy and walk to the other end of the mixer.

Friend: Sarah, he totally recognized us and was playing it off.

Me: I don't think so! He was shocked when I said I was a bank robber.

**Still to this day we don't know if he recognized us BUT...what do I get the next day?

A Facebook friend request.

Oy Vey! BUT WAIT...that's not all! Minutes later I get multiple messages from him...Not ever going to answer and going to leave his friend request in purgatory forever...but I do wish him the best.

Don't forget to email me any stories you may have TheUnitedDatesOfSarah@gmail.com

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