The United Dates Of Sarah - Hollllaaaa - Entry 18

I know this might be sad for some of you, but this will probably be the last post for a while. To answer your question, no! It's not because I met someone...I love that optimism though! I'm going through a cleanse. Yes, a dating cleanse. You might not believe this but I deleted all of the dating apps off my phone 0_o

I know, I know! You're probably thinking, "how does your mother feel about that?" Well, she doesn't know...Yikes!! She's out of the country currently and won't be back until next weekend soooo....

But here's why...

I got a new job!! I know I just got a new job but I got another one!! At a production company and it's awesome...but da hours doe! I just don't have time anymore to date...and that's legit, fo real! 

My daily schedule: 

6:30 - Get up to work out

7:45 - Done with workout --> Getting ready for work

9:00 - Leave for work

9:30am - 8:00 (ish. Could be later)pm- I'm at work

I don't want to go out on a date and exert more energy on someone I don't know. I love ME time, and ROOMMATE time and FRIEND time and FAMILY time....Not, some RANDOM GUY time. 

Anyways, so I'm cleansing and just focusing on work and family/friends. And that's why I probs won't be posting that much...cuz I won't have stories....

Ok sooo I don't really have a dating story this week but I do have a funny story about a boy....so I'll tell it!

Let's first get some definitions down...Now what I'm about to talk about is catcalling or...

Hollering...what is hollering? 

By definition to Holler - v. - (of a person) give a loud shout or cry.

Well, girls are wayyyy to familiar with The Holler/Catcall. Guys don't get the holler too much but if they did, it might sound a little like this: 

See, it's not really the same...

Girls get the construction worker or the guy driving by in the car or the guy at the bar who's trying to get your attention as your walking out...

Guys seem to think that hollering will make the girl want them more! In fact though, I've never had that feeling. 

Why would a guy yelling something at a girl make her want to talk to him? And usually it's something disrespectful. 

Here's what happened to me about a week ago: 

I was out and about with an awesome co-worker of mine. We were trying to scout people for a new show we were working on...nbd right? So we decided to cross the street at one point, which would seem harmless...right?? WRONG!

Now, before I get into the story, let me preface it by telling you a little bit about my co-worker. She's a Puerto Rican firecracker who is from New York...that's a feisty combo. She will always have a friend's back and will speak her mind no matter what....with that being said, I'll start the story.

Ok so we're on one side of the street waiting for the little man to light up to walk and there are a couple of people on the other side of the street as well. Finally it's time to cross...

Two guys, our age, are walking towards us and one of them says to me: "That's a very flattering dress, especially at the top and how it shapes your breasts...damn!"

Me: 0_o Um thanks? 

**And without skipping a beat, my co-worker responds...**

My Co-worker: What the f*ck. You nasty ass mother f*cker. Go connect the dots on your f*cking face (because he had some acne) and go to town with it!

The kid had no comeback...because who would??? 

I hope he learned his lesson to be respectful next time and just end the catcall after the "That's a very flattering dress" part.

Well, I guess this is it for a while! Feel free to like the Facebook page www.Facebook.com/TheUnitedDatesOfSarah or email me!

The United Dates Of Sarah - Footish Fetish? - Entry 17

Soooo as many of you know, I was stood up on Friday! Yep, that's right....I was sitting at the bar for 1 hour and then decided to leave...To be fair though, it wasn't 100% set in stone...but still...it sucks he didn't have the courtesy of texting back....he still hasn't tried to contact me since Friday....Here's how it went down! 

It's just annoying that he didn't even bother to send a text or call right?!? I have never stood anyone up! If I need to reschedule or cancel, I always give the person enough notice so they can make other plans in the meantime....I mean, I could have been doing something amazing on a Friday night instead of waiting for this douche bag...Instead, I went to Yogurt Land to drown my sorrows. 

Anyways, this week I want to talk about fetishes. Yep...everyone has one but some people have weird or awkward fetishes. Someone at work was telling me about what one guy said to her:

Guy: "Can I take you out to dinner and hold your feet while you're eating?"

0_o

Seriously?? First of all, ew

Second of all, why?

Third of all, what?!

#ican't

I mean, I know some guys love feet, but maybe try and keep your fetish inside a closed space...not out in public....unless your fetish is to do shit in public...

Anyways...before you meet a girl, maybe keep your weirdo side locked up...or you'll scare us away. Let's get to know you/like you first and then we might comply with your requests....MAYBE!

AND NOW A GUEST ENTRY!!

Hello there daters and datees,

This is Sarah's friend "The Trier" and I'm back after a couple months of trying on something, well...someone, for a little too long.

We'll call this guy: The World's Busiest Boy (TWBB)

So I moved across the country and am starting another chapter of my adult life. There were a few breakups amongst my travels (don't worry, these were consecutive, not simultaneous). But I've jumped right back into the weird world of online dating in an attempt to "put myself out there" and "be open"-- I've been dubbed The Trier (TT) because I am willing to try, try, and try again. Ugh.

Back in July I thought I met a great guy online. We had a similar sense of humor and could easily "connect" online. We were both busy traveling, he with family, and me solo, when we entered this period of digital courtship. Alas, we were both home and available for...

Date One:
We go to the biggest park in the city-- and end up on the exact opposite side from each other! Like over a mile away from each other. And it was hilarious! We immediately got on the phone and started joking around about our epic Marco Polo, until I got in my car and high tailed it over.
Great date= cheese, crackers, wine, and a blanket.

Date Two:
We meet in my neighborhood to watch a sailboat race with hard ciders. We sit on a swing by the water. We realize we were at the same 4th of July party. The world gets magically smaller. I shoot my worst game of pool at a bar. Great date, great kisser.

Date Three:
We go to my favorite whacky restaurant. A silly store. Back to the the park we met at. Still a great kisser, decent back rub.

At this point, everything is great! We've been on some awesome dates! We text often and even talk on the phone a couple of times. But we only see each other once a week, and these dates aren't easy to schedule. As TT I am optimistic that this will shift into seeing each other more frequently. And he throws out some great lines too!

"You're flying first class with TWBB Airlines. You get booked with me as soon as I am free!"

However, TWBB is always working, or with his family.

SO busy!

TWBB has a crazy work schedule and does family dinners, family trips, family haircuts, etc. He also does a lot of time convincing me of how busy he is.

Let me delve into month two before you think this is going to end like a match.com commercial.
My first thoughts were: "How driven!" "How dedicated!" All positives.
But in the next month I start to think TWBB should branch out from his family, and learn to leave work stress at the office door when he ends the day...

Things become a bit more relaxed at this point. Because, duh! He's busy!
I have some doubts, but I get a great call and plans happen. So with that security...
Needless to say, the dates below aren't PG-13; we're sleeping together.

I have him over for dinner and wine one night with a skyline balcony.
He has me over and we cook a meal together and drink wine.
He has me over and provides pizza and beer and a movie.

On this last one I get a very charming line too. Grade-A 21st Century romance: "You're not a booty call. I know it's late (post-work) and I appreciate you coming over, but I don't want you to think that's what this is."

I could've said, "Oh great, so what am I?" But instead I joke about how a booty call doesn't get her own special meat-free pizza.

We make loose plans for the weekend.
I check in.
I get an excuse (family-related).
I propose something lighter, coffee, pre-family.
I get told:

I call. We talk. I say I'm getting used to the excuses. He gives me a line about not bailing intentionally. Also tells me we'll plan something for the week ahead.

I have friends and co-workers telling me at this point that he's unavailable, that I'm chasing him and it should be reversed, etc. But alas, I am TT.

I reach out since a date with me won't plan itself. And I get radio silence.
Nothing. No calls, no texts.

But at this point, I've only been nice and mildly comedic. So I call and leave a voicemail in my stern and serious voice just asking to not be left high and dry.

I get a text like: Work is busy. FML. LOLZ
TT: Oh, well that doesn't seem to have any initiative with it.
TWBB: Because I don't have ANY time
TT: Get in touch when you're free. Grabbing coffee to talk in person would take less than an hour.
TWBB: We need to talk?
TT: Yeah, but I don't want to text.
TWBB: Just do it

So I call.
He answers and his tone is pushy, rushed, agitated. His phone is blowing up in my ear the way iphone users get that buzz buzz reverberation.

I try to muster the things I need and want to say.

TT: I don't think this is fair. I'd rather speak in person. Let's plan a time when you're free so we can be face to face.

TWBB: What is this about? Time? I don't have time? What do you need to say? What do you need to ask?

TT: I, umm, feel like you're unavailable. And um, I...

TWBB: Yeah, no. I have no time. Mhmm. Work. I'm always working.

TT: And I umm there's like other stuff I'd like to ask you about and I...

TWBB: What is it? What's this about? You're scaring me! I don't have time for games. Don't play games with me.

TT: I'm not playing a game. I'm trying to compose myself and what I want to ask is if you've been dating anyone else or sleeping with anyone else.

TWBB: Sure, yeah. I'm honest. I mean I've been around the block. I lied and fibbed in the past, but I'm honest.

TT: So...

TWBB: Dating- yes. Sleeping with- no.

TT: Oh, okay. So, is this, umm, is this working?

TWBB: This? Oh, okay. I see I see. Yeah, I don't know what you expected. I don't want a relationship. Maybe later, but not now. I definitely don't want a relationship. I don't know what you thought. Hey so I just got in and I'm leaving to meet my family.

TT: Okay, yeah. I wasn't expecting anything. That's not what I meant. I just feel like you're really busy. Have a great time with your family.

TWBB: Yeah, yeah. I'll call you after.

I knew after his attitude and defensiveness on the phone that I was not going to be hearing back from him anytime soon. I also knew that was all I needed to hear to know that this wasn't working...for me.

I had been told how busy he was and given reasons why he couldn't see me, but never once was it made clear that was with the involvement of other datees. You can't preach your honesty when you're lying in a bed of omission lies.

No one likes being played, strung along, led on, etc. Especially me.

So I wrote him a long-winded note and sent it old school. No, not to his home address, back to our roots. An Ok Cupid message. Basically I let him know without a screaming email that the way I had been treated in this situation was not okay.

I sent him this: "Hey! So I knew I wouldn't hear back from you this eve. So I left you a message on Ok Cupid saying everything I needed to say"

For those of you interested in the gist of it....It had this affect:

Don't forget to email me any stories you may have TheUnitedDatesOfSarah@gmail.comAnd Follow Me On Twitter @UntDatesOfSarah and like the Facebook page: www.Facebook.com/TheUnitedDatesOfSarah

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This guy needs to calm down! 

The United Dates Of Sarah - DNA Stands For More Than What You Might Think - Entry 16

This morning I work up to this at 6:00am so please forgive this entry...I might be a little more tired/cranky/mean in this blog...I recorded this from my living room window between the balcony rails.

Isn't a regular work day 9-5? WTF dude...don't start sawing at 6:00am right next to an apt complex. Damn! 

A friend (n) - A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. 

Everyone has a friend (hopefully) and depending on the relationship between the two of you, you might be more blunt to them than a normal person.  Basically, how blunt should you be with your BFF about their "relationship"? 

I literally said this to a co-worker of mine: "Have you ever seen the movie 'He's Just Not That Into You'"? 

0_o

Omg..who says that??!?? Me?!? Damn, talk about blunt...sorry boo! You know I meant well and I'm just trying to look out for you :P

Anyways, here's a story to END ALL STORIES!!! I'm going to call this guy "DNA" short for Do Not Answer.

Here's the timeline: 

Saturday I get a message on Ok Cupid from DNA -

"Hey! I would like to get to know you because your profile seems cool" Here are a couple of links to look at photos of me. I haven't posted any up because I'm a teacher and I don't want to come across a parent or even a student."

As I read this, I feel like he seems pretty nice but the photos were awkward. He only sent two..one from a strange angle with a girl and the other from far away so you can't really see him. But I was with my mom and dad, and my mother told me to message him back...so I did.

Me: "Hey. What do you teach?"

DNA: "I teach music. I know this is forward but can I get your number so we can talk?"

Wow, that was fast! But no one has been this "interested" before so we'll see how this goes.

Me: My number is ------- but I'm with my family right now so I can't talk on the phone. I might call you another time.

Literally right after I pressed send, he calls me!

I didn't answer...because, like I told him, I was with my family. 

Then he started texting me. He was telling me about his job and where he moved from and asking me about my life. This was fine but I didn't respond very fast. Anyways, after about 5 texts back and forth he says

"Can you send me a picture so I know you're not cat fishing me? 

Me: Funny thing you say that because I met Nev today from "Catfish"! 

DNA: Cool, you're the one on the right, right?

Me: Yep! Well I'm going to sign off. I'll talk to you later.

So that was that...until THE NEXT DAY!

He texted me 5 times on Sunday. Here's what he sent:

DNA: Hey!

DNA: Hey! What's your name btw? 

DNA: What are you up to this Sunday? 

Meanwhile, I'm hanging out with my roommate in the pool, so I don't have my phone with me.

DNA: Really? What was the point of you giving me your number if you aren't even going to respond? 

DNA: Do you do casual?

After that last text, I decided to never talk to this guy again! I mean, RELAX dude! 

And then I get this text:

"I can't believe there are 'adults' like you still out there. No wonder why you're still single. You just blow people off and don't respond. You are immature and good looks are never going to change that." 

WTF dude! You ARE crazy!!!! I have legit reasons to never talk to you again, and this is just putting the nail in the coffin. Anyways, I take it with a grain of salt and don't text him back...I thought that was the end of it...BUT NO! 

Thursday comes around and I'm out scouting at a mall. I get a phone call from a number not saved in my phone. 

Me: Hello? 

DNA: Hey, it's Taylor! How are you?

Me: Hi, I'm sorry who is this? Are you calling for one of the shows? 

Sometimes I call people from my phone for the shows I'm scouting for so I didn't even think for a second it was DNA.

DNA: No, we were talking on Ok Cupid. Remember? 

Me: **Lightbulb* Oh hey. Yeah, I misplaced my phone. What's up? 

I'm soooo confused at this point why he's calling. Especially after his last text. 

DNA: What's going on? Whatcha doing?

Me: I'm working.

DNA: What are you doing this weekend? 

Me: I'm pretty busy. Listen, can we talk later. I'm working.

DNA: Yeah sure, no problem. 

Let's be honest...I'm not calling this guy again and why did he call me after texting me that horrendous message? This guy is PSYCHO! So I input his number as DO Not Answer so I know never to answer this guy again! 

We hang up and immediately he texts me:

And this morning I wake up to a text from him: "Can you do casual?" 

Guys...we're dealing with a psycho! And I can't wait to see what he says next!

Don't forget to email me any stories you may have TheUnitedDatesOfSarah@gmail.com

And Follow Me On Twitter @UntDatesOfSarah and like the Facebook page: www.Facebook.com/TheUnitedDatesOfSarah

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Why? But his 'About Me' is pretty awesome - "Literally A Person"

The United Dates Of Sarah - After Date Etiquette - Entry 15

Hey Everyone!!! So it's been a while, I know but I have some great stories for you :) First of all, I am now casting so check out the website: www.DoronOfirCasting.com

Second of all, my mother and aunt have started their own business....what is it you ask??

Speed Dating!

I know you might think that my experiences with speed dating may deter people, HOWEVER their type of speed dating is different and awesome if I do say so myself. Check it out and sign up!! www.SoCalExpressDate.com

Lastly...I got a pretty crazy pick up line this week at a bar. I don't know if you're ready for it..but here it goes:

"I like my women just like my glasses. On my face!"

Ok, now that that's taken care of, let's talk about after date etiquette. I actually got this idea from a friend of mine in SD. Holllaaa! He texted me this:

"I need help. I went on a date with a girl from Tinder and I don't think that I want to see her again so what do I text her tonight?"

This might sound harsh but if you don't want to go out on a second date, you don't owe the person anything. In my opinion, there's no need to text the person.

For me, a girl, if I enjoyed myself and want to go on a second date, I'll write a short "thank you" text to him and let them know I had a great time. If I didn't have a good time, I won't text him anything and just let it go. Like I said, you don't owe the person anything after a first date.

I don't think it's necessary to text or call the person and tell them you don't feel like it's going to work out. Here's a story of a recent date I went on and never texted the guy again...and he never texted me again #MutualDislike

We'll call this guy: The Laugher

So I "met" this guy on Ok Cupid and he seemed really nice and he asked me out in a timely manner...what I mean by that is he didn't wait a month to ask me out! He actually realized the convo was going well and he wanted to continue it in person. Ok, so he asked me to go to a UCB improv show. I was excited because it was a new and innovative date idea!

So we decide to meet at the show after work but as I get to UCB I realize there's no parking except for valet and I didn't have any cash so as I pull up to Valet I ask if there is an ATM near by and they said there's one right behind them.

Great! I decided to valet and after the show, I'll get some cash and pay for valet. Right?!

I find "The Laugher" in line and we talk but it's super awkward. He's not good in person and we kind of start talking about the weather...and there are long pauses and it's weird but maybe that's why he wanted to go see an improv show, so we didn't have to talk.

We finally get seated and he's soooo excited....it's kind of weird. The show starts and the comedians are funny but this guy is dying laughing. I mean, dying laughing which includes hand clapping and rocking forward and backwards. I mean, don't get me wrong...I'm glad he's having a good time but ummm...no.

The show ends and asks me where I'm parked and I told him I valet parked but I needed to hit the ATM before, which I was told was right behind the valet stand. He walked with me over to the ATM area but then we saw a sign that changed the rest of the night for us....

The sign on the ATM said "Out of Service". Ohhh man! so I go inside the bakery next to the ATM and ask if I can buy something and pay extra on a credit card or get cash back? He said no and we asked if there was another ATM nearby. The guy behind the counter said there should be one down the street but it's in a store that might be closed. The Laugher and I decided to check it out anyways. All the meanwhile, he seems to be getting a little more annoyed. He's starting to walk faster and breath heavier.

We do get to the second ATM but the store is closed. I look around and see there's a grocery store! Perfect! They'll definitely do cash back so I say to him:

Me: I'll just go over there. You don't have to come.

The Laugher: No, it's fine. Let's just go.

We start walking over and suddenly he stops.

The Laugher: You know what. I'll just give you the money. How much is it?

Me: No it's totally fine. I'll just go to the store.

The Laugher: How much is Valet?

Me: $6

The Laugher: Ok....I mean, I have the money. Here

**As I see him exacerbated...I just think about how much time we could have saved if he just offered it in the first place. The tickets to the comedy show were free for him because he takes classes there and we didn't get any food or drinks so this night cost nothing which is fine...I was just confused as to why he was so frustrated with the situation when he had the solution the whole time... it's like I was wasting his time....

Me: Can I buy you a coffee or a cookie at the bakery to pay you back?

The Laugher: Ummm....no that's fine...just take it.

Me: Ok, thank you.

The Laugher: Sure. Drive safely.

And that was that! #SixDollarDate

On to the next story! This is from a guy on the Israel trip and it's a good one!

We'll call him Mr. Patient and we'll call her the Psycho.

About a year ago Mr. Patient was visiting his friend in Los Angeles. They decided to hit up a bar nearby. When they got there, they saw two very pretty girls. Mr. Patient liked one of the girls and they got to talking. He sealed the deal and he ended up at the girl's house...although he was a gentleman and didn't sleep with her that night....the next night was a different story though. For the next three nights they spent a ton of time together but Mr. Patient had to leave and go back to Arizona. He was, however, planning on moving to Los Angeles to go to school...and she knew that.

Anyways, after 5 days of knowing each other this girls decides to pull this off:

She says she loves him!!! I mean, I've heard of Love At First Sight buuuutttt maybe she should have hidden her crazy a little longer.

Mr. Patient told her that she didn't love him and she should see how their relationship goes as long distance. Needless to say, she was insane! She called and texted him like she was going through bipolar spats. One minute she's asking why he's not texting her back fast enough and the next minute she's saying, "I'm sorry babe! I know you're busy. I love you. Call me".

To take it one step further, Cray Cray Psycho started looking for apartments for the two of them! She knew he would be moving to LA for school so she wanted to help him out and get a jump on it. Once she found a place that would be fitting for the two of them, she would CC Mr. Patient on emails she would send to the landlords. In these emails, she would talk about her and her BOYFRIEND. Yes...she did make him her boyfriend without talking to him about it first. All of this to say, he ended up getting into a school in another state. You might guess what Psycho did next. Yep! She started looking for places for the two of them in AZ. She would get angry at Mr. Patient because she needed to know if she should quit her job and start looking for new ones.

He told her to ABSOLUTELY not leave her job...but she started looking anyways! #IDontTakeNoForAnAnswer

Mr. Patient was VERY patient but one day she took it too far!!

He wasn't feeling well at work and she was basically cussing him out over text message because he wasn't responding. Finally he said he wasn't feeling well and he just needed time. That translated to "you're making me ill" in her head. She got so mad!!

Turns out he had appendicitis and needed emergency surgery. Once she found out, she told him she was going to buy a plane ticket to come take care of him but he said NO!

This psycho, in a matter of one month told Mr. Patient she loved him and wanted to move to Arizona...No offense but calm your crazy!!! It was almost like this fast...except she was the one who would be proposing...

Anyways, as you can see, Mr. Patient needed to keep his cool in order to make sure she didn't fly to AZ and be super psycho..Also, in these couple of months, she unfriended him and friended him numerous times on FB...their current status right now is not friends.

Don't forget to email me any stories you may have TheUnitedDatesOfSarah@gmail.com

And Follow Me On Twitter @UntDatesOfSarah and like the Facebook page: www.Facebook.com/TheUnitedDatesOfSarah

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Notice the blue writing before his message...Ok Cupid thinks that this is "One of the best messages I've received".

The United Dates Of Sarah - Age is Just a Number... - Entry 14

I know I know..I didn't post last Monday but only because last weekend rocked and I didn't have a second to write!! Saturday I spent time with the fam and went to go see a taping of "Lets Make A Deal". That was fun!!! And then Sunday was my roommate's birthday! Shout out to Laura! Woohoo #24.

Also, I got a new job! #NewLifeJourney....can I get a WHAT WHAT?!?

So excited! Anyways, lets talk about AGE!!

 So we've all heard of the cougar, the MILF and the cradle robber. All of these inferring that there's a big gap in age between the woman and the man of interest...but then there's the million dollar question...

Does Age Really Matter? Is It Really Just A Number?

We see couples like:
- Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher = 15 year difference (Divorced)

- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes = 16 year difference (Divorced)

- Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison = 34 year difference (Separated)
**In case you don't remember who this couple is, I'll refresh your memory:

and of course
- Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris = 60 year difference (Married for 8 months).

Call me crazy but I think age isn't JUST a number. Age is a culture, an era, a way of life. I couldn't relate to someone and be in a relationship with a person born in the 60's because I wouldn't know or understand where they were coming from. While I watched "Kenan and Kell" or "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air" the other person would be quoting "Leave It To Beaver".

Yeah...see?

Anyways, with all of this being said, it brings me to my first story.

Story Number 1 for today

I was talking with my 80 year old grandfather last week and he told me one of the best stories I've heard in a long time. Imagine an old man who uses a walker in a CVS looking for ear plugs to purchase in order to feel more comfortable while watching a movie. He's just browsing the aisles  minding his own business when a much younger woman approaches him. She says to him:

Younger Woman: You're a very handsome older man and I'm attracted to older men.

Grandpa: Well, we have a problem here you see.

Younger Woman: What's that?

Grandpa: I've been with my current wife for 60 years and I don't think she would like this but there's another problem miss.

Younger Woman: What?

Grandpa: You smell like you've just smoked a whole pack of cigarettes.

Younger Woman: Well, I did just get divorced and I'm smoking because I'm sad.

Grandpa: Well, at least you know what the problem is.

And then he walked away...slowly...kind of like this but with less pizzaz.

Haha I guess some woman think they can get any guy...no matter what the age and I applaud my grandfather for not giving in to temptation :P

The next story is from a girl on my Israel trip. She's a great person and very down to earth. We'll call her, G.I. for Good Intentions. We'll call the boy she went out with, The Penny Pincher or "The P.P." for short.

So G.I. was told by a couple of different people that The P.P. was super smart and super witty and a NJB (Nice Jewish Boy) so she decided to go out with him. When The P.P. asked her what she wanted to do which was fine and G.I. gave him three ideas...all of which he said were "Standard" and "Boring" according to him. He wanted to "do" something. Once they finally decided on a destination, the date was set...as well as the time, but he decided it would be best to make a fashionably late entrance.

35 minutes late.

It's fine to be late, if you communicate you'll be late, but also not to an event that you have tickets for. Poor G.I. waited out in the cold until he got there with the tickets because she wasn't allowed in.

Anyways, they finally get into the destination and he says to G.I. "Oh, let me get you a drink".

**To a normal person, that means, "let me get you a drink"...not only physically but also monetarily. Like, I expect the guy to purchase the drink if he offers. HOWEVER, as G.I. and The Penny Pincher receive their drinks, he looks over at her and says, "Uh...Ok...I guess I'll pay for this".

WTF? I guess when he asked "let me get you a drink"..he just meant literally...let me physically hand it to you and that's it.

Good Intentions was confused as any girl would be!

Anyways, the date continued and she paid for her dinner as he took a phone call...#Classy

Needless to say, she didn't feel chemistry so they decided to go their separate ways.

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This one is from a guy friend....

The United Dates Of Sarah - There's Someone Out There For Everyone? - Blog 13

Before I get into anything, I want to give a shout out to: New Zealand, India, Taiwan, Norway, Germany, Australia, Canada, Israel, the UK and the USA! All of these different countries have read my posts and the viewing numbers keep going up! You guys rock and I hope to visit each and every one of you...and by "you" I mean the countries...not the individual people cuz that would take a while.

Ok, on to a little segment I call...drum roll please...."PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!" I was browsing the inter webs the other day and came across an article...and in this article was the following:

A girl was on Ok Cupid. She viewed a guy's page. She was scrolling, minding her own business, reading what he had to say and then stumbled upon his list of things he does not want in a lady. Now, everyone has a list...but I've never seen one so extensive...

That's a LONG list and I don't blame you if you didn't read every single bullet point but let me highlight some good ones for you..and of course, then I'll have my commentary. 

Don't message me if: 

- "Your career, which you worked very hard for, will vanish, to be replaced by children that you suddenly discovered you always wanted."

     **My Thoughts: I appreciates he likes a successful working woman, HOWEVER, women can both be successful in work and in home life. I know I'm not going to replace my career with children, I will make room for children and the joys that come along...and who's never heard of a woman changing her mind?!? No one! I go back and forth on if I want kids all the time...The future can't be predicted dude and if I just so happen to actually message you because I fit the rest of your crazy requirement, you better take it cuz YOU CRAY! Also kids should be a 2 sided discussion...just saying.

- "You don't wear your bike helmet"

     **My Thoughts: Ummm ok but like all the time or just when riding a bike? 

- "You don't realize that John Lennon was a 'bono level' douche."

     **My Thoughts: Don't ever speak badly about John Lennon....ever

- "You believe there are only a few bad police officers that make the majority look bad, rather than the opposite"

     **My Thoughts: WTF?!? Where does this guy live? We're not in 1920 Chi-Town are we? And even if cops are still corrupt and bad...why is this one of his deal breakers?!? Who even thinks of these things? 

Ok, I'm exhausted from this guy's list. You can read the rest of his points but just brace yourself.

This next story is from someone else who was on my trip...this story is also about someone she met on OkCupid just like the guy above....soooo maybe that's saying something about the site?? I don't know...see for yourself I guess :P

To keep her identity hidden, we'll call her "The Trier"...because she tried to make it work....or at least see if there was chemistry.

Let's call this guy: Mr. Engrossing 

It all started when The Trier went onto OkCupid. She had just moved into a new area and had just gotten dumped so she wanted to see who was around. She was looking at one guy's profile and he messaged her!!! In his charming way, he messaged: 

So eloquent isn't he?

But she messaged him back anyways and they set a date to go out. He "planned" the date and they met at his favorite pizza place which was supposed to close 20 minutes after they got there so they were rushing to eat and talk. When they go to pay...she pays her half 0_o Why you ask?!? I don't know

If a guys asks a girl out...he should pay.

If a girl asks a guys out...she should offer to pay but the guy should still pay on the first date = chivalry

Anyways, so she pays half and they decide to go to a local bar. Being the gentleman that he is, he paid for her one beer! So sweet and romantic right? Maybe....until they start talking about their online dating profiles. He continues to tell her that his main photo is his mugshot. Yep, that's right....she's on a date with a convict. Well, kind of. He just took a  props to him on getting a good enough mug shot to get girls to take notice on his OkCupid profile. 

Oh, not to mention, he kept asking The Trier what she thought his spirit animal was.....

Ok so they decide to leave the bar and take a walk but the handsome convict decided he needed to relieve himself...even though they were just in a place that had a restroom, he thought it was better to just go in the bushes of the park. I mean, why not? 

After he's done with his public indecency, they decide to sit on the bench and talk a little more. He becomes a little forward and says "Can I make out with you?"

Being The Trier she is, she agreed to try for the chemistry...and she described it kinda like this: 

He was eating her face. She called it a Face Attack...which is not exactly what you want to be described as...the Face Attacker. 

Anyways, they finally part ways never to see each other again.

Don't forget to email me any stories you may have TheUnitedDatesOfSarah@gmail.com

And Follow Me On Twitter @UntDatesOfSarah and like the Facebook page: www.Facebook.com/TheUnitedDatesOfSarah

I post new blogs every MONDAY! If you're interested in subscribing, scroll all the way down and it should say "subscribe" :)